It's amazing how when we mess up, God still draws us back to Himself in forgiveness. I've been convicted of not only sin, but the fact that I'm a wretched sinner who returns again and again to my sin. I hate being that way. I want to be more and more like Jesus, but it seems like one step forward produces 2 steps back towards my old sinful self. I guess that's what it means when we're to die daily to our old lives. And nothing we can do on our own can make us become more like Him. It is in drawing near to God that will allow us to reflect His goodness.
I'm reading a book by Watchman Nee, and he wrote how when we are convicted of sin, we know that we cannot face God because of His holiness. He is perfect, and we are not. BUT, dwelling in our weakness will never make us strong. Doing penance will not help us to be holier. God is light, we are called to walk in "the Light", and when we allow God to see our exposed lives He still loves us. He loves us in spite of our sins, not because of anything that we have done, but because of Jesus who took our place of penalty by dying for us. John 1:9 says that by the Blood of Jesus Christ, we can be cleansed from every sin.
What marvelous truth. No matter our sin, God will forgive us if we allow Him. It's nothing good in what we do. It's not in feeling guilty. It's only through Jesus blood that covers our sins that we can have renewed fellowship with God.
Thank you, Jesus, for being my mediator so that I can have communion with Your Father. I love you.
November 11, 2009
Overflow of Blessings
I was talking with a student after school yesterday about how good God is in helping us when we need it most. Some may say that things happen by chance and good fortune, but I truly believe that God has a good purpose for everything--good and bad.
This last week was tough for a number of reasons. But God always revives our spirits when we need it most...
Monday: Jamie (my friend who did the nail dying) invited me to meet her parents for dinner. I thought we were going back to their house to eat, but they "kidnapped" me and we drove out of Seoul!! I guess I should back up and tell you that I've met them before, and they're the kindest, most Godly people who I've ever met. Her dad's one of the assistant pastors at their church, and her mom is so generous. Anyways, as we were driving, I couldn't unglue my face from the window. I NEVER get the opportunity to get out of Seoul, let alone in a car! I got to see my favorite mountains: Bukhansan, Suraksan, Buramsan, and Dobongsan. We drove about 45 minutes, and had a wonderful time talking in the car. It felt like being home. I didn't think of myself as a teacher. I didn't think of myself as a foreigner. I only relaxed and joked around with Jamie while making conversation with her parents. It was so comfortable. We finally arrived at our destination, and we were the only ones in the restaurant. It was a really warm atmosphere, and home-like. They brought us out a black circle cut open with orange coming out. It was a pumpkin! They take a green pumpkin, steam it so that the inside is nice and soft, and then fill it with pork that is then steamed inside also. It was amazing!! I don't think I've ever eaten pumpkin out of the rind before...After we were so full we could hardly move, we went out for hot chocolate and coffee. At the beginning of the night, the dad would open and close the van door for me, but when we were leaving from the coffee shop, he just hopped in the driver's seat. Then looked back quickly and apologized. He said something softly in Korean, and Jamie said that he felt like we were both his daughters, and he forgot that I was Jamie's friend. It was one of my favorite memories of the night...
Tuesday: At the Children's Center where I work twice a week, I started to become friends with 2 girls who also work there. They're a little older than me, but not by much. They told me that they want to learn English, and asked for English names. I named them Grace and Joy as fit their personalities. They also gave me a Korean name! Eun Joo. It means "Jesus' grace".
One of the small children ran up to me and gave me a little something that she had made in class that day. Then about 4-5 students ran around me and gave me hugs and wanted to sit on my lap! I love the kids, and it made me so happy to have their little arms around my neck for the first time!!
Also at the Children's Center, the director gave me a big bag full of special surprises. There was an expensive looking box full of Korean rice cakes. There were also some special noodles to make Kimchi Mariguksu (my favorite Korean food that I had told her about). Lastly was some brown powder to make a breakfast drink with. It's a special Korean, 7-grain mixture that is apparently really healthy. When you stir it up in milk, it tastes just like the brown pieces in Lucky Charms. Yummy!
After the Children's Center, I came back to teach one more class, and a student gave me a big bottle of vitamins so that I have more energy and stay healthy.
Today (Wednesday): Today is Pepero Day. Pepero is a cookie stick covered by chocolate, and today is 11-11, so the 1's look like pepero sticks...anyways...people give each other these pepero things to each other. It's a fun holiday completely made up by the Pepero companies.
This morning, I received so many boxes of pepero!! Regular chocolate ones, chocolate filled ones, chocolate with almond pieces on the outside...and it goes on and on...
One student gave me a Christmas wrapped package, and after opening it home, I found that it had not only a cute bag full of pepero, but it also had fancy, warm gloves and "sleep socks". I've been teaching about sleep the last 2 days, and most of my students said that in order to fall asleep, they wear "sleep socks". I had no idea what they were talking about, so I guess this student wanted to help me understand better :) It was soooo sweet and really thoughtful.
Also today, the student who stays after school to talk with me gave me a cd by Tommy Walker (a CCM artist)! I have heard of him, but never really listened to him. Little did I know that he wrote one of my favorite songs: He knows my name.
What an amazing few days I've had. And the week isn't even over yet...I know of a few more blessings to come! Thursday night and Saturday are also going to be good gifts from God. I'll write more when those days are passed. When I have low days, I need to remember these times. God has really, truly blessed me with great students and thoughtful people surrounding me. I hope and pray that I'm as giving and generous to others around me. I'm overwhelmed by the love and generosity of those people around me. It makes me so thankful to know them, and to know that we share a good God who is watching over our lives.
This last week was tough for a number of reasons. But God always revives our spirits when we need it most...
Monday: Jamie (my friend who did the nail dying) invited me to meet her parents for dinner. I thought we were going back to their house to eat, but they "kidnapped" me and we drove out of Seoul!! I guess I should back up and tell you that I've met them before, and they're the kindest, most Godly people who I've ever met. Her dad's one of the assistant pastors at their church, and her mom is so generous. Anyways, as we were driving, I couldn't unglue my face from the window. I NEVER get the opportunity to get out of Seoul, let alone in a car! I got to see my favorite mountains: Bukhansan, Suraksan, Buramsan, and Dobongsan. We drove about 45 minutes, and had a wonderful time talking in the car. It felt like being home. I didn't think of myself as a teacher. I didn't think of myself as a foreigner. I only relaxed and joked around with Jamie while making conversation with her parents. It was so comfortable. We finally arrived at our destination, and we were the only ones in the restaurant. It was a really warm atmosphere, and home-like. They brought us out a black circle cut open with orange coming out. It was a pumpkin! They take a green pumpkin, steam it so that the inside is nice and soft, and then fill it with pork that is then steamed inside also. It was amazing!! I don't think I've ever eaten pumpkin out of the rind before...After we were so full we could hardly move, we went out for hot chocolate and coffee. At the beginning of the night, the dad would open and close the van door for me, but when we were leaving from the coffee shop, he just hopped in the driver's seat. Then looked back quickly and apologized. He said something softly in Korean, and Jamie said that he felt like we were both his daughters, and he forgot that I was Jamie's friend. It was one of my favorite memories of the night...
Tuesday: At the Children's Center where I work twice a week, I started to become friends with 2 girls who also work there. They're a little older than me, but not by much. They told me that they want to learn English, and asked for English names. I named them Grace and Joy as fit their personalities. They also gave me a Korean name! Eun Joo. It means "Jesus' grace".
One of the small children ran up to me and gave me a little something that she had made in class that day. Then about 4-5 students ran around me and gave me hugs and wanted to sit on my lap! I love the kids, and it made me so happy to have their little arms around my neck for the first time!!
Also at the Children's Center, the director gave me a big bag full of special surprises. There was an expensive looking box full of Korean rice cakes. There were also some special noodles to make Kimchi Mariguksu (my favorite Korean food that I had told her about). Lastly was some brown powder to make a breakfast drink with. It's a special Korean, 7-grain mixture that is apparently really healthy. When you stir it up in milk, it tastes just like the brown pieces in Lucky Charms. Yummy!
After the Children's Center, I came back to teach one more class, and a student gave me a big bottle of vitamins so that I have more energy and stay healthy.
Today (Wednesday): Today is Pepero Day. Pepero is a cookie stick covered by chocolate, and today is 11-11, so the 1's look like pepero sticks...anyways...people give each other these pepero things to each other. It's a fun holiday completely made up by the Pepero companies.This morning, I received so many boxes of pepero!! Regular chocolate ones, chocolate filled ones, chocolate with almond pieces on the outside...and it goes on and on...
One student gave me a Christmas wrapped package, and after opening it home, I found that it had not only a cute bag full of pepero, but it also had fancy, warm gloves and "sleep socks". I've been teaching about sleep the last 2 days, and most of my students said that in order to fall asleep, they wear "sleep socks". I had no idea what they were talking about, so I guess this student wanted to help me understand better :) It was soooo sweet and really thoughtful.
Also today, the student who stays after school to talk with me gave me a cd by Tommy Walker (a CCM artist)! I have heard of him, but never really listened to him. Little did I know that he wrote one of my favorite songs: He knows my name.
What an amazing few days I've had. And the week isn't even over yet...I know of a few more blessings to come! Thursday night and Saturday are also going to be good gifts from God. I'll write more when those days are passed. When I have low days, I need to remember these times. God has really, truly blessed me with great students and thoughtful people surrounding me. I hope and pray that I'm as giving and generous to others around me. I'm overwhelmed by the love and generosity of those people around me. It makes me so thankful to know them, and to know that we share a good God who is watching over our lives.
November 8, 2009
Halloween Party
I invited my 8am class over to my house for hiking and a Halloween party this weekend, and it was a blast!! 3 guys and 1 girl met me at the subway to start our hike at 1. We went to Suraksan (the mountain by my house), and I think it was bigger than they imagined...It was hard for me too since I haven't really been hiking in quite a while. We got pretty far though. The mountain goes through stages. There are pieces of really hard hiking, but between are easy transitions. We had 1 more really hard piece to go before getting to the top. But when we were done, we had reached "our top". So we were really happy about that. The leaves were still changing colors, so it was beautiful. I only have one picture of our time together, and the students have the other pictures. So I'll post the other pictures sometime this week.
It was fun to go hiking with people my own age and to have a more friendly atmosphere. We joked around and they tried so hard to speak English all day. I know it was difficult, but I was so proud of them!
At home, one more girl came for the party, so there were 3 guys and 3 girls including me. We ordered pizza and chicken. We also made deokboki (a ricecake spicy stew) in my house and steamed sweet potatoes!! It was really fun, and I loved seeing how to make this very traditional Korean food. We just sat around and talked, and then I brought out the pumpkin. It was huge!! We drew a face on it, and then cut it together. I showed them how to scoop out the seeds with their hands (as children typically do in the US), and then we put a small candle inside. They took pictures of it and we must have sat there for 20 minutes or so just looking at the pumpkin and talking about Halloween. What a great time!!
November 6, 2009
Cafeteria Sights
I've been thinking about the differences of Korea and America in terms of food and social etiquette. It's been a fun little exercise to think about as I eat in the cafeteria each day for lunch and have time to observe many things. I'll share one example of a day not so uncommon. Imagine these things almost every day...
I was sitting down to eat lunch and looking down at my tray to see what was given to me. It was rice with octopus/squid (I couldn't tell which it was) tentacles reaching into the air. At first it was really off-putting, but now I just eat the food leaving the bumpy little legs in a pile at the bottom. After eating what I could, I started people watching...I noticed one of my students (who is about 40 years old) feeding another older man with chopsticks. His friend definitely had the ability to feed himself, but feeding each other delicious food is a symbol of love and friendship.
Earlier that day, before lunch, I was teaching but distracted by a couple of boys touching each others' legs. Both are in their 20's, and one has a girlfriend. One was rubbing the other guy's leg and stomach. It was soooo awkward looking!! I couldn't help but stop teaching and smile at them until I got their attention. They were wrapped up in some discussion apparently about their stomach and legs, and didn't notice my stopping teaching. Finally, one of the other guys in class muttered something to the boys touching each other. They quickly stopped and looked horrified saying, "Not gay! Not gay!!" I know they're not gay, but it was so cute to see them concerned about each other. Where in America could you see two guys care so much about each other that they physically touch each other? Usually even if two guys accidentally touch, they make a big deal about it because they're embarrassed. Not so here! I see guys walking arm in arm all the time!! It's kind of nice to see guys have both a strong and sweet side.
I was sitting down to eat lunch and looking down at my tray to see what was given to me. It was rice with octopus/squid (I couldn't tell which it was) tentacles reaching into the air. At first it was really off-putting, but now I just eat the food leaving the bumpy little legs in a pile at the bottom. After eating what I could, I started people watching...I noticed one of my students (who is about 40 years old) feeding another older man with chopsticks. His friend definitely had the ability to feed himself, but feeding each other delicious food is a symbol of love and friendship.
Earlier that day, before lunch, I was teaching but distracted by a couple of boys touching each others' legs. Both are in their 20's, and one has a girlfriend. One was rubbing the other guy's leg and stomach. It was soooo awkward looking!! I couldn't help but stop teaching and smile at them until I got their attention. They were wrapped up in some discussion apparently about their stomach and legs, and didn't notice my stopping teaching. Finally, one of the other guys in class muttered something to the boys touching each other. They quickly stopped and looked horrified saying, "Not gay! Not gay!!" I know they're not gay, but it was so cute to see them concerned about each other. Where in America could you see two guys care so much about each other that they physically touch each other? Usually even if two guys accidentally touch, they make a big deal about it because they're embarrassed. Not so here! I see guys walking arm in arm all the time!! It's kind of nice to see guys have both a strong and sweet side.
October 31, 2009
Firsts
2 new things happened on Friday: I got to meet the new teacher, and I went to a new Bible study.
The new teacher to replace Bryan is named Connie. She seems pretty nice, and has a lot of experience with Korea. She's Korean-American, and also taught in Korea last year. I'm excited to get to know her more, and hopefully have a friend to talk about school stuff with.
I went with Robert (my coworker) to a Bible study he goes to each Friday night. The pastor of the church and leader of the Bible study teaches at school every once in a while, so I've met him briefly before. The church was small, but there were probably 10-15 people sitting in a circle for the study. Another first-time visitor was my co-teacher from the children's center I got to on Tuesdays!! It was so random but neat to see her there. Most of the people were older than me (mid 30's-50), but it was uplifting to meet them. There are 3 women who are part of the church and missionaries that their church in the states supports to help Pastor Steven and his wife with their ministry. 1 of them really connected with me, her name is Dana. She goes to a free Korean language class on Tuesdays, and invited me to come along with her, so that'll be awesome!!
The Bible Study was about the requirements for a church leader, and they were things like being above reproach, temperate, respectable, able to teach, etc. Steve reminded us that these are not things that are natural in our sinful selves. They are only gifts that the Holy Spirit gives us allowing us to be seen and known as being different to this world.
I was able to share prayer requests with a group of other Christians for the first time since being here, and it was such a blessing. I've been aching inside with things that I need prayer for. We split into groups to pray, and I ended up being paired up with the pastor. God has been breaking my heart multiple times this week and then repairing me. I cried while listening to the pianist I mentioned in an earlier post because it was such a reminder to pour all my heart into however I am serving God, whether that be through playing piano or teaching. The same with praying together with the pastor. Every time that I pray from my heart in front of someone, I end up crying. I felt self-conscious, but know that God needed to hear me. It's most hard to pray for my students because their pains are my pains. But maybe that's not such a bad thing. Praying with conviction and emotion isn't a bad thing. Maybe it's best for God to see our true heart when talking with Him.
Sorry, I don't mean to sound/portray myself as a person who cries all the time. I really don't. I haven't cried much at all since I got here. It's just been in the last few weeks that my emotions have gotten the better of me. However, I know that I've been harboring different sins in my heart that needed to be confessed, and I truly believe that sometimes God needs to break our hearts in order to allow us to heal properly. It hurts to have turmoil, but afterwards, the peace
(for God's children) that passes understanding is more wonderful than could ever be explained. Let God heal your heart. Trust that you can't live without His grace, and accept Jesus gift of salvation for your life. Only after you confess your sins and accept God's love can you experience a personal relationship with God that offers peace and true joy.
The new teacher to replace Bryan is named Connie. She seems pretty nice, and has a lot of experience with Korea. She's Korean-American, and also taught in Korea last year. I'm excited to get to know her more, and hopefully have a friend to talk about school stuff with.
I went with Robert (my coworker) to a Bible study he goes to each Friday night. The pastor of the church and leader of the Bible study teaches at school every once in a while, so I've met him briefly before. The church was small, but there were probably 10-15 people sitting in a circle for the study. Another first-time visitor was my co-teacher from the children's center I got to on Tuesdays!! It was so random but neat to see her there. Most of the people were older than me (mid 30's-50), but it was uplifting to meet them. There are 3 women who are part of the church and missionaries that their church in the states supports to help Pastor Steven and his wife with their ministry. 1 of them really connected with me, her name is Dana. She goes to a free Korean language class on Tuesdays, and invited me to come along with her, so that'll be awesome!!
The Bible Study was about the requirements for a church leader, and they were things like being above reproach, temperate, respectable, able to teach, etc. Steve reminded us that these are not things that are natural in our sinful selves. They are only gifts that the Holy Spirit gives us allowing us to be seen and known as being different to this world.
I was able to share prayer requests with a group of other Christians for the first time since being here, and it was such a blessing. I've been aching inside with things that I need prayer for. We split into groups to pray, and I ended up being paired up with the pastor. God has been breaking my heart multiple times this week and then repairing me. I cried while listening to the pianist I mentioned in an earlier post because it was such a reminder to pour all my heart into however I am serving God, whether that be through playing piano or teaching. The same with praying together with the pastor. Every time that I pray from my heart in front of someone, I end up crying. I felt self-conscious, but know that God needed to hear me. It's most hard to pray for my students because their pains are my pains. But maybe that's not such a bad thing. Praying with conviction and emotion isn't a bad thing. Maybe it's best for God to see our true heart when talking with Him.
Sorry, I don't mean to sound/portray myself as a person who cries all the time. I really don't. I haven't cried much at all since I got here. It's just been in the last few weeks that my emotions have gotten the better of me. However, I know that I've been harboring different sins in my heart that needed to be confessed, and I truly believe that sometimes God needs to break our hearts in order to allow us to heal properly. It hurts to have turmoil, but afterwards, the peace
(for God's children) that passes understanding is more wonderful than could ever be explained. Let God heal your heart. Trust that you can't live without His grace, and accept Jesus gift of salvation for your life. Only after you confess your sins and accept God's love can you experience a personal relationship with God that offers peace and true joy.
The Piano Man/Pumpkin
Jamie invited me the other night to come to her church and hear a piano concert. I asked Juny (my friend from hiking) to join us, and the 3 of us walked to her church about 15 minutes from my apartment. The pianist was originally from Jamaica and then America. His music was Christian hymns with a jazz flare. It was really beautiful and uplifting. His heart was completely immersed in playing for God's glory, and it was amazing to see that. We all really enjoyed it, and got to spend some time at the end talking to the pianist and his friends since I speak English and my friends speak well also.
At the end of the night, Jamie and I were both hungry, so her mom offered to make us ramyon at her house! Yay!! It was really nice to meet her parents and spend more time with them. They're really kind and also very generous people. Her dad gave me a box of tea from Sri Lanka, and her mom gave me a bunch of fruit. They invited me over for chicken baked in a pumpkin some time next week, so that should be kind of fun and interesting :)
Speaking of pumpkins, Jamie and I picked out a small pumpkin, and I hollowed it out the other day. My knife was too big, so I ended up just making a bunch of triangle holes around the top in order to let oxygen in and light out. Then of course cut the top off. I brought it into school on Friday to celebrate Halloween in a small way, and the students were amazed that I'd done that. It was so funny how they asked how I made it and to see their expressions. They didn't know people could actually carve pumpkins, and none of them had ever seen/done it in their lives. They wanted to keep the lights off during class so they could watch the pumpkin glow. Cute!
At the end of the night, Jamie and I were both hungry, so her mom offered to make us ramyon at her house! Yay!! It was really nice to meet her parents and spend more time with them. They're really kind and also very generous people. Her dad gave me a box of tea from Sri Lanka, and her mom gave me a bunch of fruit. They invited me over for chicken baked in a pumpkin some time next week, so that should be kind of fun and interesting :)
Speaking of pumpkins, Jamie and I picked out a small pumpkin, and I hollowed it out the other day. My knife was too big, so I ended up just making a bunch of triangle holes around the top in order to let oxygen in and light out. Then of course cut the top off. I brought it into school on Friday to celebrate Halloween in a small way, and the students were amazed that I'd done that. It was so funny how they asked how I made it and to see their expressions. They didn't know people could actually carve pumpkins, and none of them had ever seen/done it in their lives. They wanted to keep the lights off during class so they could watch the pumpkin glow. Cute!
Sunday KBU Pictures
On Sundays, part of my work contract is to teach English to children. The week shown in the pictures we got to play outside, and the kids had a performance in the service. It was really cute!
October 29, 2009
Students/School
"Everyone make a heart!"
They wanted to pretend to be bodyguards :) A few of them did a good job, the others I'm not sure I'd want to hire :)
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