Firsts

2 new things happened on Friday: I got to meet the new teacher, and I went to a new Bible study.

The new teacher to replace Bryan is named Connie. She seems pretty nice, and has a lot of experience with Korea. She's Korean-American, and also taught in Korea last year. I'm excited to get to know her more, and hopefully have a friend to talk about school stuff with.

I went with Robert (my coworker) to a Bible study he goes to each Friday night. The pastor of the church and leader of the Bible study teaches at school every once in a while, so I've met him briefly before. The church was small, but there were probably 10-15 people sitting in a circle for the study. Another first-time visitor was my co-teacher from the children's center I got to on Tuesdays!! It was so random but neat to see her there. Most of the people were older than me (mid 30's-50), but it was uplifting to meet them. There are 3 women who are part of the church and missionaries that their church in the states supports to help Pastor Steven and his wife with their ministry. 1 of them really connected with me, her name is Dana. She goes to a free Korean language class on Tuesdays, and invited me to come along with her, so that'll be awesome!!

The Bible Study was about the requirements for a church leader, and they were things like being above reproach, temperate, respectable, able to teach, etc. Steve reminded us that these are not things that are natural in our sinful selves. They are only gifts that the Holy Spirit gives us allowing us to be seen and known as being different to this world.

I was able to share prayer requests with a group of other Christians for the first time since being here, and it was such a blessing. I've been aching inside with things that I need prayer for. We split into groups to pray, and I ended up being paired up with the pastor. God has been breaking my heart multiple times this week and then repairing me. I cried while listening to the pianist I mentioned in an earlier post because it was such a reminder to pour all my heart into however I am serving God, whether that be through playing piano or teaching. The same with praying together with the pastor. Every time that I pray from my heart in front of someone, I end up crying. I felt self-conscious, but know that God needed to hear me. It's most hard to pray for my students because their pains are my pains. But maybe that's not such a bad thing. Praying with conviction and emotion isn't a bad thing. Maybe it's best for God to see our true heart when talking with Him.

Sorry, I don't mean to sound/portray myself as a person who cries all the time. I really don't. I haven't cried much at all since I got here. It's just been in the last few weeks that my emotions have gotten the better of me. However, I know that I've been harboring different sins in my heart that needed to be confessed, and I truly believe that sometimes God needs to break our hearts in order to allow us to heal properly. It hurts to have turmoil, but afterwards, the peace
(for God's children) that passes understanding is more wonderful than could ever be explained. Let God heal your heart. Trust that you can't live without His grace, and accept Jesus gift of salvation for your life. Only after you confess your sins and accept God's love can you experience a personal relationship with God that offers peace and true joy.