May 25, 2010

Blessings

Today I count my blessings.

I'm thankful for the wonderful people God has put in my life. Especially right here and now in Korea. It's impossible to describe the difficulty of some situations in life while living in a foreign country. But every time I've had a problem, God has provided someone to help.

These last few weeks have been really rough with my neck problems. I pulled a muscle (I think) 2 weeks ago, and it's been so painful! The only thing is that finding a doctor who speaks/understands English and is able to fix this sort of problem is difficult. I've asked multiple people for help, but haven't been able to get much relief. A coworker talked to another professor who talked to another professor who knew of an American-style chiropractor in the area. Korean doctors are very specialized, and they are scattered everywhere. Finding a doctor isn't hard; finding a doctor to help in your specific problem is difficult. Plus, Korean chiropractors simply provide hot packs and place electrical currents contracting your muscles. Very differnet from American chiropractors. I hope the appointment helps!!

I'm blessed by others daily. Students coming to me with girlfriend/boyfriend problems is a blessing! They trust me. Students asking me for prayer is a blessing! They know I love them. Students apologizing for late homework is a blessing! They respect me through their honesty. Whether the situation in and of itself is good or bad, the result is a blessing to my life.

A professor came to tell me that he will try to provide a solution for my "Sunday problem". I'm blessed by the friendships developed with other professors. Juny is leaving his ESWP job, and I realize now how blessed I am to have him as a friend. Whenever I wanted to talk or was bored or excited, Juny was only a few steps away. I'll miss him, but I hope that we can stay friends even though we're not together every day. I hope it wasn't a friendship of convenience; it definitely wasn't on my part!! We'll see ^^

May 24, 2010

Funeral

One of my friends' grandparents died this last weekend, and I wanted to take a chance to write a little bit about Korean funerals. At least from the viewpoint of an outsider: I'm not sure all this is exactly true about ALL Korean funerals. This is just my experience...

In Korea (I know this to be true), they have funeral homes connected/inside of hospitals. So, if you have a funeral, it would be in an attached building to the hospital or else be in a basement area. This particular funeral location was in a connected building. It was huge! After walking in, you find your family greeters who meet you at the door and take any monetary gifts you might have to help the family pay for the funeral expenses. I think this is actually a really great idea. It helps with the financial burdens a family might have in preparing for something like this.

After walking in, there is a small area where there is a picture of the deceased person surrounded by lights and flowers. You pick up one of many white flowers wrapped in tinfoil in a jar at the entrance of the small room, and lay it on the table in front of the picture where all the other flowers have already been laid. Then, I assume that most Korean people would full face-to-the-floor bow. In this Korean funeral, the family is Christian, so people would just stand and say a short prayer. This process takes maybe 10 minutes. Then you get are brought to another bigger room with tables on the floor and are ushered to sit down and eat.

I was so happy to be there for my friend, and I know she was happy that I was able to come and encourage her. We talked for 3 hours about her family and her grandfather's history. He had some really interesting stories, and I would have loved to have met him! The family members who were women all wore white robes. The blood-related sons wore arm bands with 3 white bars. And sons-in-law wore arm bands with a lower number of white bars.

It was interesting hearing that the family stays there overnight all together and the funeral lasts between 3-7 days. It's a good chance for other people to be able to travel and pay their respects I guess. But a long time to mourn.

Ranting

Disclaimer: Read with a grain of salt. I didn't mean any of this for anyone, just as a chance to express what I've been thinking about these last few months. I really do love and miss everyone at home and am excited to see you whether I stay or go!

After talking with the president of KBU about contracts for next semester, I found out for sure and certain that my contract would not be renewed unless I agreed to continue working on Sundays. What a blow. I was crushed, because I'd held out hope that they were bluffing and just trying to get me to work more hours. But that wasn't the case...

It's a hard decision. I love the students here. It's encouraging to me seeing their lives and how passionate they are about serving in their churches and serving others around them. The Holy Spirit is indwelt in them in a way that I want to be. I want to serve and live for God like they do. They are a source of strength, encouragement, and chastening to me, and I'd hate to lose that. I truly do love teaching them English. It comes with its challenges and trials, but they're worth it.

On the other hand, going back seems to be inevitable whether it's now or a year from now. So why not go home now and just get it over with? Deal with the re-entry shock and move on with life. This can't be a lifestyle living in Korea my whole life, can it? Maybe. I sometimes dream about living here forever...then reality sets in. But why can't living in Korea be a reality? I'm afraid of the future. I'm afraid of what it might hold. Will I ever get married? Will I be able to maintain friendships? What will my family think? Maybe it's just a dream and not a realistic ideal.

Sometimes I wonder why God has me here. What could I possibly be doing here? Why learn Korean?? What benefit will it hold to me or others in the future? I often imagine waiting until North Korea opens and is accepting of foreigners. I'd like to be one of the first who goes and teaches English while sharing the Gospel with them in their own language. I love Korean people, and I wish there was a way I could show it more. Ok, ok...I do complain sometimes about their characteristics, but in the end, I can't help but love them in spite of our differences. It's something God has simply put on my heart.

And you know what? I don't want to lose that. I'm afraid that if I go back home, that love will be replaced with something else. It sometimes has...when I was younger, I loved Africa. Then I went, came back, and that love was replaced with a love for Muslims. After serving Somali people, I moved to Korea and developed a new love for Korea. This love is different though. It wasn't automatic. It wasn't something that came before the fact. It was a growth. I didn't have any special desire to know or care about anything Asian in the least; until I was forced into the reality that I was in Korea for a year. So might as well suck it up and enjoy it. And I fell in love.

Maybe it's better I don't have a boyfriend right now. I feel like my life is devoted to loving and caring for my Korean students and other Koreans in my life. Every moment of my life is spent thinking about how to help them or share the God's love with them. I have given my life to serving them. I think that's why it was so hard going back to the States last time. After giving your heart to something and then tearing it away, it's rough. It literally felt like breaking up after a long relationship. Something that took months to "get over". And now that I'm back, I'm more in love than ever before. Even though I hate some things, I've learned to deal with them and even enjoy many things that bothered me before.

If only I could figure out this church situation...

May 15, 2010

Confidence

I've been thinking a lot lately about how having self-confidence is so important. Especially living here in Korea. In the States, my confidence was pretty low. Nothing depressing or anything like that, but coming to Korea the first time was definitely a boost for me. This time, it's pushed me even farther. But not in ways that I expected.

Last time, my confidence was raised because of being able to do something on my own for the first time. Being a teacher and handling my own classroom was also a big test of who I was, pushing me to grow up quickly. Teaching university students is a whole new ballgame. There are opportunities to speak to big crowds into microphones, required videotaping for promotions, and other random spotlight activities.

Not only being at a university is challenging, but as far as self-confidence goes, there are other people I've had to "deal with" while being here. I don't know if it's the people I'm around or the location I'm in, but weekly I'm asked whether I'm gaining or losing weight by university office workers: guys and girls. When I say, "Neither, I'm the same," they look at me and shake their heads. When I've lost weight, they congratulate me. When I've gained weight, well, I change topics! But at least I know someone's keeping me accountable, whether it's their business or not.

On the weight topic, my Korean mom (who works in the kimbap restaurant) daily asks me if and what I've eaten during the day, and makes fat motions if I say that I've eaten only kimbap or something small but not necessarily healthy. I can assure you that if this were happening to me 3 years ago, I'd be in tears and on a plane right back home. But in a way, it's good for me. In Korea, food is such a big deal. In fact, instead of saying, "Hello. How are you today?" that we Americans tend to say, Koreans say, "Hello. Have you eaten rice today?" So I guess it's part of the culture asking about food and critiquing. It doesn't bother me now, but it's interesting how even small (not necessarily helpful) things like that have helped to build a more confident me.

KBU Festival

Korean Universities all have a period of time that they hold school festivals promoting and fund raising for their various clubs and student organizations. KBU had their school festival on Thursday and Friday this last week. We were excited not to have class, but required "fun" times in Korea are usually the opposite of what adult Western people would think of as being fun: AWANA-type games being the center of these events.

However, with an open mind, I went on Thursday expecting just to enjoy being with my students. And it was better than that! I ended up being a judge for an English CCM contest the students had, and even got to speak at the event congratulating all the students for their hard work. It was amazing hearing their voices sing familiar songs with such power and emotion. I was so proud of them all: especially those of them who were my students! Friday I was a judge for a Pasta Contest. The students cooked on burners out on the front lawn, and we judged a tomato, spicy, cream cheese (turned out this was just cream milk and cheese - seperate), Mongolian, and seafood pasta. They were all really good, and it was so much fun to be invited to help in various things throughout the event. I don't think I saw any other real English speakers in the last 4 days, but while this is usually exhausting, I'm energized! The whole event was exciting. It was a blessing and curse knowing so many students though. Haha...I think I bought more food and toothpaste than I wanted or needed! I had such a fun time talking, playing football, playing board games, suntanning, playing ping-pong, having water gun and balloon fights...Of course, they had the AWANA-type games too, but they were at the end of the day on Friday when I was already tired out and gone home.

What a fun time that I'll never forget. No pictures...but that's ok. This long weekend with the students implanted deeper in my mind my love for them, and desire to stay here. This week, the office is supposedly going to tell us what the results of the contract decisions are: whether I stay or go. Either way, I am excited for what God has planned...but I really want to stay... ^^

Fears

So far in my life, there are 3 big things that are fears to me...

1. Needles (but mostly the ones taking blood, not giving injections): In Korea, I've had to have my blood taken 3 times!! That's more than I've had done in the last 3 years. But you know what? Slowly but surely, it gets a little easier, and a little easier. In fact, one of the injections was into my hand (not arm), and was miserably painful, but at least I can say that I did it and didn't die ^^

2. Talking on the phone: I have no idea where/when this "fear" came on me...but I absolutely dread having to answer the phone when someone is calling me. And the silly part is that it doesn't matter who it is. It can be a friend or family or whoever, and the feeling is the same. I wonder if part of it comes from having a lot of friends who don't speak English as their first language and it being difficult (if not impossible) to have phone conversations...Hmm...

3. Eating seafood: Ever since I was a kid, I've disliked being in the presence of seafood. Whether I was eating it or someone else was didn't matter. In Korea, there are dead fish being sold everywhere (literally). I only have to walk a block at most from any point in Seoul, and can find someone selling fresh fish, crab, or squid on the back of a pickup truck or in buckets on the ground.

Good news though! For at least 2 of these fears, they are ever decreasing. My needle issue is a lot better! Also, I've eaten seafood 3 times this week and didn't have any issue. It's not that I don't like seafood, it's just the thought of eating a sea animal. Land animals don't seem to bother me, but sea animals do...don't ask...I don't know why. Anyways, on Monday I had fish from the school cafeteria. Not bad, but could only eat one of the pieces. Baby steps, people! On Wednesday, a student was eating lunch with me and begged me to eat one of their oysters. I gave in, because they were paying for lunch, and it was actually really delicious!! Friday, I was a taste tester, and the student cooks had made a special clam to put in their pasta that I was pretty much required to eat. I even took it out of its shell (tentacles and all) and popped it in my mouth. Not my favorite, but I did it without fear!! Yay!!!!!

May 12, 2010

Sports Days

Monday night, Jamie and I met to go bowling after school. It was really great!! It was a huge hige of de-ja-vu being back in the states. It didn't seem too out of the ordinary except that it was almost impossible to find a ball with holes big enough for my fingers... ^^ I'm so thankful for a good friend like Jamie. She's one of the kinds of people who where when we are busy for a long period of time and don't have a chance to meet, it seems just like old times when we do get a chance to meet later on. We can pick up right where we left off without feeling awkward or anything like that.
Top Score!! Yay!!!
Tuesday I played with Ji-Su and Daniel, and another of my previous students. I'd bought a stack of cards that are called Hwatu (flower cards), and we taught ourselves how to play the game. The game played with this deck of cards is called Go-Stop. It's pretty difficult, so we're still trying to figure out that rules. It's fun though, and makes you think. After playing Go-Stop, I had a meeting, and then joined them for a 2 hour game of soccer! They were surprised that I could play with them (being that I'm a girl...) and actually score points on them! Yay, I broke a stereotype!!! ^^

During our time, one of the boys asked me if all Western people had gold hair when they were born, and then dyed it to whatever color they wanted when they were older--just like how all Asians have black hair (he said). Cute :)

Today was Wednesday, and Daniel, Ji-Su, and his girlfriend (Sophie) came by to play cards again. We played for a while, and then decided to have dinner together. It was so nice to go out with them. It felt like we were really friends, and not just hanging out in my classroom. After, we played basketball (I now realize how awful I am at playing this sport...), and I introduced them to nerf football. When I brought out the ball, they had absolutely no idea what it was or what to do with it. We played for a while, and then Ji-su figured out how to do it correctly and completely showed me and Daniel up! He taught us how to better throw it, and 3 hours later, we were all having a blast whipping the ball as hard and far as we could to each other. We had an audience of quite a few people trying to figure out what we were doing with this mysterious, whizzing ball. We asked if they wanted to try, but no one did. At the end of the night, it was dark, so we decided to go home. But not before the boys confessed that this strange, new game was leaps and bounds better than soccer (their number one, favorite sport they play every waking moment of the day)!! They wanted to know where in Korea they could buy such a thing, and I was sad to say I had no idea if they could get one here...I think it'll be something that I leave here for them to have when I go home :)

May 9, 2010

Mom

Happy Mother's Day Mom!!! I couldn't have asked for or imagined a different mom to raise Holly and I any better. I'm so proud of you and thank God for you! I wish I could be home, but am happy that you can be with your mom on this special day.

I love you...

Bau House

Today, Liz and I went to a Dog Cafe called "Bau House" in Hongdae after church. Even though we had to wait 30 minutes before being seated, it was worth it. There were about 30 dogs running around the cafe, with people playing with them, drinking sodas or beers, and having a good time relaxing.

Liz and I got oreo shakes (yum...), and had great company. There was one dog (I think it was a mixed breed) that clung to us and adopted us as her keepers for the next hour or so. She sat under the table, and when other dogs would come over, she'd bark and pounce on them trying to mark us as her territory. It was cute :) We had a few other dogs too that would play with us. A cute, tiny pug dog...a beagle...and others. But our best friend was this mutt. What a cute girl. She gave me kisses on my ears and neck (don't worry, not the face!) and loved us even though we didn't have any treats for her like others in the cafe did. What a great time to be around dogs!!


May 8, 2010

Random Videos

Ok, so I go to the Children Center each week, taking a shuttle bus from the hospital next to KBU. Twice a week, I have to listen to really old Korean music. At first it was really, really bad, and I'd pop in my headphones as soon as I got in the van. But these last few months, I've come to love and appreciate old Korean music! Haha...I guess it's an acquired taste...

Video's really stupid, don't watch it...just listen to the music!!



This next video is shot on my way home, walking from school to home. Usually I take the bus, but either way, this is what I get to see. Beautiful flowers! I was bummed to see that the cherry blossoms and magnolia flowers died after only a few weeks of magnificent beauty, but now other flowers have popped up in their place, and I'm so thankful for them! Spring is amazing in Korea! Videos could never do justice...

I think these are azelias. They're everywhere!!

Children's Day

Wednesday, the 5th, was Children's Day. It felt like Christmas! Children were everywhere with their parents buying scooters and bikes and clothes and candy. Vendors were giving away free cotton candy and other treats to honor the children.

Juny and I took advantage of the day off work, and went downtown! It was fun to spend time with him, and it was nice to think of something else other than the impending contract decisions. It's been really difficult on me, but Juny's been a huge help praying and offering encouragement to me.

So we went to a Korean Folk Village at the base of Namsan Tower. Afterward, we hung out in Myeongdong and had ice bingsu (ice shavings with fruit). Yummy!!

Korean entertaining dancers
Korean "yut" game. Really fun!!!
Teeter-totter that you jump on, catapulting the other person in the air...it's a lot harder than it seems :)
Traditional tea ceremony
The white dress and tall, black hat was a symbol of upper class people in old Korea
The table under the house was brought out to lay on or rest on outside
A time capsule! It was huge!!

Korean games

Korean dancing (I wish I had a longer shot of this...)

Tea Ceremony