Confidence

I've been thinking a lot lately about how having self-confidence is so important. Especially living here in Korea. In the States, my confidence was pretty low. Nothing depressing or anything like that, but coming to Korea the first time was definitely a boost for me. This time, it's pushed me even farther. But not in ways that I expected.

Last time, my confidence was raised because of being able to do something on my own for the first time. Being a teacher and handling my own classroom was also a big test of who I was, pushing me to grow up quickly. Teaching university students is a whole new ballgame. There are opportunities to speak to big crowds into microphones, required videotaping for promotions, and other random spotlight activities.

Not only being at a university is challenging, but as far as self-confidence goes, there are other people I've had to "deal with" while being here. I don't know if it's the people I'm around or the location I'm in, but weekly I'm asked whether I'm gaining or losing weight by university office workers: guys and girls. When I say, "Neither, I'm the same," they look at me and shake their heads. When I've lost weight, they congratulate me. When I've gained weight, well, I change topics! But at least I know someone's keeping me accountable, whether it's their business or not.

On the weight topic, my Korean mom (who works in the kimbap restaurant) daily asks me if and what I've eaten during the day, and makes fat motions if I say that I've eaten only kimbap or something small but not necessarily healthy. I can assure you that if this were happening to me 3 years ago, I'd be in tears and on a plane right back home. But in a way, it's good for me. In Korea, food is such a big deal. In fact, instead of saying, "Hello. How are you today?" that we Americans tend to say, Koreans say, "Hello. Have you eaten rice today?" So I guess it's part of the culture asking about food and critiquing. It doesn't bother me now, but it's interesting how even small (not necessarily helpful) things like that have helped to build a more confident me.