Decisions

Life hands us big decisions. Well, I guess God gives us wonderful opportunities in life, and sometimes we're given the privilege of taking advantage of them.

This last month has been so stressful trying to figure out whether or not I'd like to renew my contract for this next year. Of course, I miss family and would love to be home for the perks of being able to start a relationship, get involved back at my church, and rebuild friendships. But there are also benefits to staying here. I've made friends that are not only friends, but people who really feel like family to me. I have at least 2 sisters, 3 brothers, and 2 sets of parents. Not to mention a job that I love (because of the students).

If I stay, there is the opportunity to really plug into a church which I'm more than excited for. No matter if I stay or go home, that is one thing I'm missing most. If I stay, there are at least 2 English churches within 20 minutes of my home, and 1 for sure that I know I can be involved in 1 hour away. The church I'm going to now has a great pastor, but I haven't been able to connect in a serving way or with any members.

I feel like my mind is already made up. But I'm so afraid of actually saying and making that decision. Once I do, I've portioned away and decided on where my life will be headed. I'm afraid to make the choice and then feel regret. How do you know when the decision has been made? I want to go home, but I want to stay in Korea.

It's interesting. When I dwell on going home, I end up crying and depressed. When I dwell on staying here for another year, I feel sick in my stomach. I'll tell you what...this month has been intense, which is kind of stupid...both decisions lead to good ends!